Am I Happy?

This post is actually in response to ML's post about being happy. I think I can honestly say that I am not happy. Over Christmas, my dad apologized for always hounding me about being single and analyzing the reasons why I couldn't find a guy. He said "I just want you to have a boyfriend so you'll be happy." And I thought to myself, well that sucks. That the only way for me to be happy is to find a man. As a further stab at the heart, my dad got me Dr. Phil's book "Love Smart" for Christmas. Gee, thanks, pop. For a lack of other reading materials on the plane back to L.A., I read it, and even Dr. Phil told me I should be happy as a single, and then guys would come along. So I've tried. Really, I have. I have a great job, awesome friends, loving supportive family, plenty of food to eat (sometimes a little too much), a roof over my head. I should be the happiest girl on earth! And yet, I don't think I've been this bummed ever. And this isn't even Myrna talking, it's me, normal hormone levels and all. To add to this depression, I begin to feel guilty for being sad and ungrateful for the blessings in my life!

I'm seriously considering going back onto match or maybe even e-harmony. The biggest deterrent is that I might run back into JS, the guy I lied to. Is there a way to block him so he would never see my profile? I just don't want to have to deal with that on top of my own unhappiness. Sorry for another depressing post, folks.

Aren't you that girl from the Good Stuff commercial?

Oh yes, the talent agents are already knocking on my door. G and I along with our coworker DK filmed a Good Stuff commerical today! Since we go there practically every day, the manager asked if we could do it. G did all of the talking, and I sat there biting my lip, trying not to burst out laughing. Unfortunately, neither he nor I live in the area so we will not be able to see ourselves on cable television. KA, you'll have to keep an eye out! With our poster at the Getty Villa and now the Good Stuff commercial, we're local celebrities! Oooh, I bet Kathy Griffin will even add us to her comedy routine! Sweet!

The Woes of Myrna

All of us have names for that time of the month. My friend CC has called her's "Myrna," and I have adopted that name as well. So Myrna hasn't arrived into town yet, but she's already kicking my ass. (I think Gaytor is now on my cycle too. Sorry about that, G.) Seriously, I have never been as moody as I've been the past 4 days. I've come to the realization that QK probably just thinks of me as a friend. Whatever. But it started to make me wonder if I'll ever find a boyfriend, why I've always been single, am I hideous? Do I have some really awful personality or physical trait that no one will tell me? Do I reek of desperation? It's just been a shame spiral starting on Saturday afternoon. I called my sister in hysterics, I was sobbing for a good half hour until I could finally have a decent conversation about CSI reruns. I broke down twice on Sunday, but I've been okay since then. Just really bummed out and cranky. I've taken the day off work today to sketch and work on the PP redesign. Oh, I don't think I've mentioned that yet! So I've been named the lead designer on PP, the 3rd largest brand at work. I've got 1 junior designer working under me that follows me around like a puppy (and it's getting annoying), a micromanaging manager (we'll just call her MM from now on then), and a ton of pressure to pull of this huge redesign. We're re-examining color palette, structure, everything. And I've got to pull it off in a month. There's close to a hundred packages that will have this new look that I have yet to design, so maybe that's why I'm a little sensitive right now too... Hopefully this day off will ease my stress and slightly crushed heart. And Myrna, could you please lay off a little bit this week?

I'm baaaack

Who knows if this will be a recurring thing, I'm really bad at starting things and never following through. Sorry!!! And sorry for posting a depressing blog up for 3 months. Let's see....what has been going on in the world of KQ? Well, I took a month off of work (for 1 week of that, the entire company was closed) to travel to Paris and the Seychelles with my family. It was a ton of fun, and I got a great tan and loads of relaxation. Unfortunately, it also means that I used up almost all of my vacation time for the rest of the year. I think I have about 5 hours left to spread thinly over the next 9 months. Wow. I'm going to conveniently call in "sick" a few days around the 4th of July, Easter, Thanksgiving...

I'm loving my apartment, the bugs have finally left me alone I hope. Now I'm just left with my pestering, mooching, roommate ES. Have I talked about her? She's one of my best friends's little sisters, 19, first time out on her own. She eats enough for a family of four, NOT that that's completely awful, per se, but I'm afraid it's rubbing off on me to snack more. And THAT is the problem. She also did not pay rent for 3 months, but she finally got her loan and only owes me for 1 more month. Thank goodness. There's loads more to say about her, but I'll have to devote an entire new entry for that.

And of course the men. What to do about the men? With my clever questioning, I have deduced that QK--yes, the guy I've liked for months and months from church--is not questionable, he is in fact straight. Yayyyy!!! Now comes the tricky part of getting him to like me. My sisters have informed me that it is not in my genes to flirt. One of my sisters actually shook her crush's hand at the end of a date, just to give you an idea of how sad we Q sisters are. So because there's no way I could flirt my way into a date, I literally ran across the parking lot last month at church and asked QK out like a dumbass. My exact words were, "Um, I know that this is a bit forward, but...there's an exhibition down at the pier and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me....?" He consented! And although we haven't actually gone to see the exhibit, we've gone to lunch twice and have had a few late night phone conversations. Okay, as I type this it doesn't sound like much. And I'm still wondering if this is a case of "He's just not that into you." We'll see how this little story unfolds. But I really like him, and I hope that he soon wisens up to the fact that I am a damn good catch and I'm not going to be single for much longer, so he better get a move on!

I hope that's enough to whet y'all's palette for now, I hope to write more soon, but start bugging me if I don't. ;)