This post is actually in response to ML's post about being happy. I think I can honestly say that I am not happy. Over Christmas, my dad apologized for always hounding me about being single and analyzing the reasons why I couldn't find a guy. He said "I just want you to have a boyfriend so you'll be happy." And I thought to myself, well that sucks. That the only way for me to be happy is to find a man. As a further stab at the heart, my dad got me Dr. Phil's book "Love Smart" for Christmas. Gee, thanks, pop. For a lack of other reading materials on the plane back to L.A., I read it, and even Dr. Phil told me I should be happy as a single, and then guys would come along. So I've tried. Really, I have. I have a great job, awesome friends, loving supportive family, plenty of food to eat (sometimes a little too much), a roof over my head. I should be the happiest girl on earth! And yet, I don't think I've been this bummed ever. And this isn't even Myrna talking, it's me, normal hormone levels and all. To add to this depression, I begin to feel guilty for being sad and ungrateful for the blessings in my life!
I'm seriously considering going back onto match or maybe even e-harmony. The biggest deterrent is that I might run back into JS, the guy I lied to. Is there a way to block him so he would never see my profile? I just don't want to have to deal with that on top of my own unhappiness. Sorry for another depressing post, folks.
5 comments:
I'm sorry KQ...sometimes you just go through these sorts of periods...it's all part of the balance. Have you considered talking to someone? I go to a therapist and it's fantastic. I really think everyone can benefit from therapy--not because everyone is f*cked up but because everyone has issues, in varying degrees, that they can work on to make themselves happier. Everyone. So maybe that would help? I don't think going to match or eHarmony alone will help things...because a guy won't fix all the reasons you have for being unhappy, just hide them.
But one thing you should know and believe, this too will pass.
oh and yeah, you can block people on match.
thanks ML! I might have to get your therapist's name. I never imagined I'd ever need one. But you can never say never!
She's really, really fantastic. Email me off-line if you want it.
and I think a lot of people thing they'd never need one...but there's no shame in it. By going to one, it's not like you're admitting to being really screwed up. It's just you taking action to make yourself feel better. And there's nothing wrong with that. Even my therapist points out when we're talking about issues, that there are degrees involved, and that what might be a big problem for me is only a small problem for others. But that doesn't ever make something I'm experiencing small.
I'm sorry you've been down lately, but honestly, I think you're waaaayyyy too young to worry about being single. Oh, and if it makes you feel any better at all, we all go through those kinds of phases. It'll pass.
I agree with the Frog though that talking to someone is a really good idea.
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