Yes, it is official. QK and I are "just friends." Life IS sometimes really, really hard as ML so eloquently put it. I suppose I should recap the last week and a day. I've been sorta persistently asking QK when we're going to see a certain photography exhibit, so I emailed him last Thursday to teasingly ask again. He called last Sunday, he invited me over to his place and picked up dinner. I was supposed to go to mass at 5:30pm, but that didn't happen. Nor did I make it to the 7:30pm. We ended up laying in his bed for 3 hours (NOTHING happened, mind you) and talked about hypothetical relationships, cooking, gas ranges, prefabricated houses... I thought maybe something was possibly developing. He turned down the lights, was playing records, lit incense. Come on, what was I supposed to think???
Cut to this Sunday, I drop him off after we volunteer together, and I just don't have the balls to say "So what's going on with us?" but I skirt around the issue. I was going through another wave of depression last night when he calls. He tried consoling me for about 45 min before I finally broke down and told him I liked him. He was super sweet about the whole thing, which is making it more difficult for me to unlike him. He said he wished he liked me because I'm an amazing woman, blah blah blah, but he's the type of guy that needs an instant thunderbolt of chemistry.
So boo hiss, boys suck. (And not in a good way, right G?) Truthfully, the whole conversation couldn't have gone better and I do still think he's a wonderful guy. And NO, he's not gay. And now I can finally, FINALLY move on, have some closure, stop comparing every guy I meet to QK. I can go back to my grounded, non-obsessive life. Eventually I would like to still get to know him better and have him as a friend. He has this amazing spiritual connection to God that I admire, and he does give really sound advice. Ok, not helping. Right now I think I need to keep my distance for the sake of my own sanity and heart.
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5 comments:
Oh, I'm so sorry KQ. I agree that it went the best it could have though and I'm glad you've gotten it out in the open and can start moving on.
Boys do suck though. I'm sensing we all really need a blogger boy bashing night sometime soon!
blogger boy bashing... why does that sound like some sort of frat hazing ritual?
sounds like fun to me... let's find some boys and "blog" them!
why can't i find a guy who sucks in a good way like me?
life is hard.
I'm sorry KQ....boys do suck and life can be hard. But when you have the right boy, they only suck in the right ways (no pun intended). And we only know that life is hard because sometimes it's not. But no one walks aroudn during those times saying, "Gee, isn't life easy and great and fun and wonderful?" So just realize that all of this will pass. And, it really is fantastic when there's closure and you are free to move on. That is a great thing.
and one more thing. It's not events or circumstances or tangible things like that that make us feel bad. It's our feelings about those events/circumstances that make us feel bad.
Thanks so much for the words of encouragement, guy and gals! I've been feeling SO much better this week. Hopefully my time of grieving will be brief and I'll be back on the man hunt soon!
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